[ i had an idea of what i wanted to give you but now i might change it for matching thematics, but you tell me if you want matchie themes for bonding or more spooky/lore stuff in exchange becks.
anyway this is fair. jonas himself was also trying to figure out how the bubbles are happening (how the whole fucking cloud city is happening, truthfully) but he doesn't get very far at all when the pig barrels into shu's legs, encasing both of them in a barrier. he barely has a chance to say anything when he sees something he's, like, pretty sure he's not supposed to be privy to.
but he pays attention. he pays attention to the way shu presents himself, to the way teuta responds and her fluctuating emotions, to the slow-dawning realization of something that had been there for a time that the two of them hadn't put a name to. and he pays closer attention still to the heart of what it all means.
"It broke me. I don't want you to go through the same thing."
it's something that he actually seems to understand probably more than he wants to. so when the memory stops, jonas is left quiet and sort of blinking uncertainly, like he's debating if he's even allowed to commentate on it. so, first, he breaks the moment with a little bit of a joke. ]
...you ever think about how often girls say they aren't mad when they really just want you to guess why they're mad in the first place?
[ weh. i do like some bonding. i can give jonas another one if you want to do two of them. ]
…
[ he snorts. ]
Isn’t there a book about it? Men are somewhere, women are from— wherever. She kept insisting she wasn’t mad while glaring at me like she wanted to kick me.
[ gib two so i can give you an actual game one too.
that gets a little laugh. ]
I've been on the receiving end of that look myself a few times, man. I get it. [ ... ] But it's...nice to know you're important to her, you know? I can kind of see where she's coming from.
... She's very different to the rest of us. We thought she was working for someone we were digging into at first, but she really is just what she says she is. Mostly.
Good question. Around…. [ thanks for not giving us timelines bustafellows ]— a few months, maybe? She moved in because her apartment collapsed and then it was just easier for her to stay.
And yeah. She writes a column in the local newspaper. It’s pretty good, actually.
How does a whole apartment just collapse...? I mean I can think of a few reasons so that's not a real question, but wow. I guess it makes sense to stay if you're already moved in and settled. Why change a good arrangement?
Journalist by day, actual investigator at night. She sounds impressive. [ ... ] You must miss her a little still.
[ family, and family-ish, are important, he thinks. and he's about to ask more about her, about shu and that dynamic, but this isn't over yet as something else appears. ]
Poor structural management. She asked Limbo for legal advice -- something about her landlady thinking she was responsible for some of the rebuilding costs once the council got involved and ordered them to be done, and Teuta being pretty sure it wasn't in her contract that any of that was her financial responsibility.
[ ... ]
I'm happier she and all the others are there and not here, y'know?
[ a. ok yeah, I know exactly what the second memory is going to be, lmao. shu just blinks for a moment. ]
Uh, yeah? I'm with Teuta, why should it be a tenant's responsibility for something her landlady should've been taking care of before she even moved in? Seems stupid.
And yeah I mean...I think you can be happy knowing the people you care about aren't here but still miss them. I think that's a thing.
[ but then you know. there's a memory and he just...frowns a little. thank you, that was very much not something he felt like reliving. but he sighs a bit to that. ]
...thanks. It's been a few months, and we knew it was coming eventually but...you know. Nothing to really do about it.
[ it was always just made worse by the fact he was never able to get the proper closure for it. ]
I’d agree, but there’s some clauses that push some financial responsibility on the tenant in the fine print. To be fair, her landlady’s kinda… weird. And old. I think she just misinterpreted. But either way, it delayed things long enough that the damage she’d been asked to fix reached its natural conclusion.
….
Yeah. Just time and nothing else. [ … ] It’ll take a while, but you’ll get there. It’ll be rougher because you didn’t get to say goodbye though.
Remind me never to rent an apartment from old people. [ this is mumbled and it's an aside for the rest of it. ]
Time is...a weird thing, Shu. Like even knowing there's so much of it it still doesn't feel like it'll ever be enough. Maybe if I could go back to change it I'd feel differently. [ he shakes his head. ] It's...it was my own fault. For not being able to be there. So maybe it's only fair that it isn't something that easy to forget. I don't know. I go back and forth on that a little.
[ both that it was unfair and shitty and awful, and that it was frankly deserved because he put himself there. ]
I don't know how Teuta understands her. [ in Japanese her script is just ara? ara ara? aaa... ara? and in english it's like and this but this and that but this and this? and i was like send help. ]
...
I think a lot of people spend a lot of time worrying about what they could've done, and if they'd done something different would things have been different. The answer's always yeah, of course it would be. You did something different.
But... it's not like we can change things after they've happened. Not normally. Coming to terms with that's the worst.
[ he doesn't really get to address any of that before another memory appears, and he pauses long enough to really digest what he's seeing. ]
...coming to terms with anything is always the worst part of anything, especially the things we have no control over. [ ... ] Did her own son kill her...?
...yeah, I get that. That need for answers, in a way, to keep you going. [ because it could be extremely tempting to sort of just lie in the dirt after tragedy and not bother getting up.] But given that that sounds present-tense, I think that answers my question.
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anyway this is fair. jonas himself was also trying to figure out how the bubbles are happening (how the whole fucking cloud city is happening, truthfully) but he doesn't get very far at all when the pig barrels into shu's legs, encasing both of them in a barrier. he barely has a chance to say anything when he sees something he's, like, pretty sure he's not supposed to be privy to.
but he pays attention. he pays attention to the way shu presents himself, to the way teuta responds and her fluctuating emotions, to the slow-dawning realization of something that had been there for a time that the two of them hadn't put a name to. and he pays closer attention still to the heart of what it all means.
"It broke me. I don't want you to go through the same thing."
it's something that he actually seems to understand probably more than he wants to. so when the memory stops, jonas is left quiet and sort of blinking uncertainly, like he's debating if he's even allowed to commentate on it. so, first, he breaks the moment with a little bit of a joke. ]
...you ever think about how often girls say they aren't mad when they really just want you to guess why they're mad in the first place?
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…
[ he snorts. ]
Isn’t there a book about it? Men are somewhere, women are from— wherever. She kept insisting she wasn’t mad while glaring at me like she wanted to kick me.
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that gets a little laugh. ]
I've been on the receiving end of that look myself a few times, man. I get it. [ ... ] But it's...nice to know you're important to her, you know? I can kind of see where she's coming from.
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... She's very different to the rest of us. We thought she was working for someone we were digging into at first, but she really is just what she says she is. Mostly.
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Mostly. [ ... ] She's that journalist you mentioned before, right? How long have you actually known her?
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Mostly. [ smile ]
Good question. Around…. [ thanks for not giving us timelines bustafellows ]— a few months, maybe? She moved in because her apartment collapsed and then it was just easier for her to stay.
And yeah. She writes a column in the local newspaper. It’s pretty good, actually.
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Journalist by day, actual investigator at night. She sounds impressive. [ ... ] You must miss her a little still.
[ family, and family-ish, are important, he thinks. and he's about to ask more about her, about shu and that dynamic, but this isn't over yet as something else appears. ]
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[ ... ]
I'm happier she and all the others are there and not here, y'know?
[ a. ok yeah, I know exactly what the second memory is going to be, lmao. shu just blinks for a moment. ]
... Sorry for your loss.
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And yeah I mean...I think you can be happy knowing the people you care about aren't here but still miss them. I think that's a thing.
[ but then you know. there's a memory and he just...frowns a little. thank you, that was very much not something he felt like reliving. but he sighs a bit to that. ]
...thanks. It's been a few months, and we knew it was coming eventually but...you know. Nothing to really do about it.
[ it was always just made worse by the fact he was never able to get the proper closure for it. ]
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….
Yeah. Just time and nothing else. [ … ] It’ll take a while, but you’ll get there. It’ll be rougher because you didn’t get to say goodbye though.
[ sugar coating? here? nah. ]
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Time is...a weird thing, Shu. Like even knowing there's so much of it it still doesn't feel like it'll ever be enough. Maybe if I could go back to change it I'd feel differently. [ he shakes his head. ] It's...it was my own fault. For not being able to be there. So maybe it's only fair that it isn't something that easy to forget. I don't know. I go back and forth on that a little.
[ both that it was unfair and shitty and awful, and that it was frankly deserved because he put himself there. ]
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...
I think a lot of people spend a lot of time worrying about what they could've done, and if they'd done something different would things have been different. The answer's always yeah, of course it would be. You did something different.
But... it's not like we can change things after they've happened. Not normally. Coming to terms with that's the worst.
[ and, y'know. relatable ]
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...coming to terms with anything is always the worst part of anything, especially the things we have no control over. [ ... ] Did her own son kill her...?
[ the fuck had happened there. ]
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...
I'm choosing to believe so. I don't have any other choice.
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Okay. Bad question, won't ask that one again...
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It's fine.
[ it's really not. the next part gets dragged out of him very slowly, like he's saying things he doesn't want to speak into existence really. ]
I don't know if Yang killed her. But I needed someone to be mad at.
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...because it's easier to direct your anger into something instead of letting it fester and not knowing what to do about the things that happened?
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If I didn’t stay mad at Yang, I wouldn’t have a reason to chase after him.
[ and at the time the idea his everything was just gone, poof, like that was too much to deal with. ]
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No I’m still pretty fucking mad at him.
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[ … ]
I don’t actually think the two things are related.
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