...it felt like...a memory, I guess. Or maybe I went back in time to that time. I was back at home with my dad, just...a totally normal day watching TV on the couch. It was before my mom got sick and things changed. I got out of it when Alex sealed the rift in the cave.
...yeah. All of that happened the night Alex and I met. [ so that was kind of a weird, fucked up mess. but he can't refute that other statement, so he settles for shrugging just a little. ]
It hasn't even been a year yet. And I didn't exactly get to say goodbye to her. So...yeah, I miss her.
...I didn't know I would leave her. [ alex, he means. ] Alex and I were supposed to go together to seal the rift, and I didn't because...that happened. And I kind of wish it hadn't, but I'm also kind of glad I found out for sure? It's complicated.
I know you're right. And normally I'd agree with you. But this is still one of those things I might've been in the wrong here. But that's something for me to fix so...[ he shakes his head. ] Thanks, Vash.
Your actions are yours and you get to decide what future you want to pursue, Jonas. That's all for you to figure out and I'm glad that it's clear to you.
[ Gives his shoulder a friendly jostle, like those bro not-hugs. ]
... I think my relationship with my brother was very complicated and he was kind of a freak, so I'm going to make up some super special imaginary scenario for this.
In my mind's eye, I would be mad in this imaginary situation, I think. I believe our future is blank, so we can go anywhere.
[ help. he looks like he's not sure if he wants to laugh or not, but he lets it go and is just kind of glad vash is letting this happen. ]
...I, uh. Appreciate the hypothetical answer in a world where your relationship with your brother wasn't a huge mess. I think it's probably a good answer. [ or at least it's one he can agree with, so obviously it's good for him. ]
I hope that didn't happen to you, Jonas—someone deciding your future, making you someone you're not... Or someone you don't want to be. Kind of an ominous question? Hard not to make assumptions here.
It's...complicated. [ which is what he starts with, debating where to go with it. ] It's more like a decision someone else made that impacts me that I wish I'd been a part of. But nothing I can really change now.
In one case, yeah, it was two people. In another, it was just one person. [ now that he thinks about it. wow. things just keep happening, actually. ] I'm not even sure if being part of the discussion would've changed anybody's minds or what happened, but at least maybe then it wouldn't have been so surprising.
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Where did you go, Jonas?
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...it felt like...a memory, I guess. Or maybe I went back in time to that time. I was back at home with my dad, just...a totally normal day watching TV on the couch. It was before my mom got sick and things changed. I got out of it when Alex sealed the rift in the cave.
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[ From Alex. ]
You miss her.
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It hasn't even been a year yet. And I didn't exactly get to say goodbye to her. So...yeah, I miss her.
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... I'm sorry to hear that. [ ... ] If I were in your position, I would have done the same.
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...I didn't know I would leave her. [ alex, he means. ] Alex and I were supposed to go together to seal the rift, and I didn't because...that happened. And I kind of wish it hadn't, but I'm also kind of glad I found out for sure? It's complicated.
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[ He. Gets it. Don't worry. ]
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I know you're right. And normally I'd agree with you. But this is still one of those things I might've been in the wrong here. But that's something for me to fix so...[ he shakes his head. ] Thanks, Vash.
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Your actions are yours and you get to decide what future you want to pursue, Jonas. That's all for you to figure out and I'm glad that it's clear to you.
[ Gives his shoulder a friendly jostle, like those bro not-hugs. ]
All I'm saying is that I understand.
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And if somebody decides your future for you? What about then?
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[ is that sad or ]
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...just busy trying to keep up with the present?
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[ ... ]
But I guess my brother tried to do something like that, control my life. Change me. Choose my future.
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but...hm. ]
Did you ever...maybe resent isn't the right word for it. But I guess were you ever mad it happened? Even if you made a different choice in the end.
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In my mind's eye, I would be mad in this imaginary situation, I think. I believe our future is blank, so we can go anywhere.
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...I, uh. Appreciate the hypothetical answer in a world where your relationship with your brother wasn't a huge mess. I think it's probably a good answer. [ or at least it's one he can agree with, so obviously it's good for him. ]
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I hope that didn't happen to you, Jonas—someone deciding your future, making you someone you're not... Or someone you don't want to be. Kind of an ominous question? Hard not to make assumptions here.
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[ insert two people I consent meme and third person going I don't consent. ]
That's complicated.
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[ THIS TAG WAS OPEN ON My phone I'M LOSING IT ]
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also that question seems to startle him, just slightly. ]
Man, if I knew that I'd probably be a lot less frustrated with how life is currently going. I am literally just trying to get by.