Yeah. It's, uh. Kind of a catch-22 you know? Having her here has made everything a lot easier, but I also spend every week freaking out she'll be dead on Friday so you know. It's a trade-off. [ it's kind of a joke, but also. help. ]
Yeah. [ ... ] I know Alex and I are lucky both of us have lived this long. I don't take that for granted. [ he's thinking about how wolfwood just left vash and livio behind, mostly. ] But it's been kind of wild to see how the rest of the game's played out.
'kay. This game's been fucking brutal, and it's always hard to watch everybody lose people they care about. I half-expected somebody to go after one of us this weekend because of our team still having three people. We lucked out. I don't know how to feel about it.
[ relieved, mostly, which in itself feels shitty. ]
A little bad. Obviously I'm really glad Alex and Kazuki are okay. I wouldn't have wanted to see a world without them. But then...I dunno. You see how people react when they lose people they do care about, and you want to sympathize entirely and be there for them, but you still kind of go "at least it wasn't the people I care about."
I mean... I get it. There's been weeks where I think the same thing, too—that this sucks, but at least it wasn't this person, or that person, or whoever else.
It happens when you get close to people. I don't care what anyone says. You can get along with everyone just fine, but there will always be a bias.
[ there's a significantly long pause then. ]
...when this game is over...and assuming there are enough points to bring everybody back, everyone's going to go different places. Back to where they belong. I always knew that. [ but? ] But that includes me and Alex. So every week she's alive, there's always a moment I forget everything else because all I can care about is I get at least another week with her.
A little funny when we all mostly started out as strangers and couldn't figure out how to work together, right? But people always bind in tragedy so it's not surprising. [ there's a low hum of thought. ] Maybe whoever wins will have enough points to build in a clause to allow us to at least have an option to see each other. I have no idea how it would work though given the whole...other dimensions thing.
See, I've been thinking the same. We have no idea how, and we're going to reasonably have to figure out a way back, so...why not build in a two-way transportation route of some kind?
I've thought about it. If we're supposedly already dead in our own worlds, why not? I can't say I have that much waiting for me back in my own to begin with.
If that's what she wants. [ ... ] There's...some stuff going on back home for us that's a little complicated. So I'm letting her decide where we're going from here. If she wants to go somewhere else and we're able to make that happen, I'll go with her. If she wants to go home after this is over, then...I'll go with her there, too.
[ i'll just be less happy about the latter, even if i get it. ]
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the thought disappears. ]
Yeah. It's, uh. Kind of a catch-22 you know? Having her here has made everything a lot easier, but I also spend every week freaking out she'll be dead on Friday so you know. It's a trade-off. [ it's kind of a joke, but also. help. ]
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Ugh—no, that makes sense. At least you weren't the only one?
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'kay. This game's been fucking brutal, and it's always hard to watch everybody lose people they care about. I half-expected somebody to go after one of us this weekend because of our team still having three people. We lucked out. I don't know how to feel about it.
[ relieved, mostly, which in itself feels shitty. ]
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A little bad. Obviously I'm really glad Alex and Kazuki are okay. I wouldn't have wanted to see a world without them. But then...I dunno. You see how people react when they lose people they do care about, and you want to sympathize entirely and be there for them, but you still kind of go "at least it wasn't the people I care about."
Human nature, shitty as it may feel.
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[ there's a significantly long pause then. ]
...when this game is over...and assuming there are enough points to bring everybody back, everyone's going to go different places. Back to where they belong. I always knew that. [ but? ] But that includes me and Alex. So every week she's alive, there's always a moment I forget everything else because all I can care about is I get at least another week with her.
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I've thought about it. If we're supposedly already dead in our own worlds, why not? I can't say I have that much waiting for me back in my own to begin with.
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[ i'll just be less happy about the latter, even if i get it. ]