i'm gonna be honest i never said anything about forgiveness i'm not sure if i'm there yet but you can understand and not forgive someone those are two different things people can do terrible things, and you can still have positive feelings for them with the negative ones which is probably where i am
GOOD TO BE HONEST WITH YOU JO-SAN I AGREE WITH YOU I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO REALLY THANK ME OR SAY SORRY TO ME EVEN THO I KNOW ITS HAPPENING BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE KIND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A LOT TO MAKE UP TO ALL OF YOU AND IM GONNA TRY REALLY HARD BUT I THINK ITS OKAY TO NOT LIKE LIARS FOR A WHILE AND I LIED I DIDNT WANT TO BUT I LIED
[ he truly should tell buzen to turn off capslock but he doesn't care enough to do so. ]
people are kind and that's both a good and a bad thing forgiveness is like...one of those things people shouldn't take advantage of and i think it says more that you don't actually want it for something that wasn't entirely your fault more or less if it helps i can definitely take back my earlier thanks? that's kind of a joke by the way ...i'd asked the reapers what happens if you break that rule and the answer's always erasure so self-preservation isn't always such a bad thing especially when it's not just about you. it's your team what do you plan to do next buzen?
I WOULDNT HAVE PRESERVED MYSELF JO-SAN IF I KNEW IT WOULD JUST BE ME I WOULDVE BROKEN THAT RULE IF WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR MY TEAM TODAY I WOULDVE ERASED US ALL MYSELF I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY BUT MATSU AND I COULDNT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT HAPPENED TODAY OUR TEAM NEEDED TO BE FOUND GUILTY
I HAVE A LOT TO MAKE UP FOR I WANT TO HELP EVERYONE IN THE WAYS THAT I CAN IF THEYRE WILLING TO LET ME THATS ALL IVE EVER WANT TO DO
whoa whoa whoa okay let's not go too crazy here i get it, you are extremely passionate about doing what's right and making amends for what's happened you're right. people aren't going to understand because people are scared right now to the point they might be too desperate to survive but i don't think there's anything wrong with trying to fix things some people might not let you some will so you just have to...start fresh, so to speak i think i get that
I DONT MIND I UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE HAS A LOT OF EMOTIONS TODAY IM STILL SORTING THROUGH ALL OF MINE TOO PERSONALLY I JUST WANT TO DO BETTER THAN I HAVE BEEN BUT I THINK AS A GROUP WE ALL NEED TO START BEING CAREFUL KNOWING THAT TEAMS CAN TELL EACH OTHER ON FRIDAY WHAT HAPPENS AND THAT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE FORCED TO KILL EVEN IF THEY DONT WANT TO
yeah. the reapers confirmed that with me when i asked earlier i was curious what the extent of the confession rule was it's going to be harder for everybody when you have up to three other people who could be an alibi for you ...do you mean people who feel like they have no choice but to kill if they want to earn points for their team?
I MEAN THAT THE PERSON WHO KILLED THIS WEEK DIDNT WANT TO ACT BUT ILL LET THEM TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT FIRST AND IF THEY DONT THEN ILL SAY EVERYTHING I KNOW TOMORROW BUT YOURE RIGHT TEAMS HAVE A STRONGER INCENTIVE TO COVER FOR EACH OTHER SO WE WILL NEED MORE CAUTION IN THE COMING WEEKS
[buzen doesn't think anyone will self-destruct quite as badly as bdsm did today,]
fair enough we'll see if the person who acted wants to say anything at all and then after...only do what you feel like you have to do things can change overnight so nobody's going to blame you if you don't commit to something
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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mostly because he's
fucking baffled]
ARE YOU SURE YOU ARENT ANGRIER AT ME?
IM FINE WITH WHATEVER TOMORROW BRINGS
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am i mad you guys picked rin? yeah.
am i mad it happened at all? i expected it
are more people mad at you??
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BUT I EXPECTED THAT
TO BE HONEST THAT FEELS MORE RIGHT
THAN EVERYONE WHO WANTS TO FORGIVE ME
WHEN I DONT FORGIVE MYSELF
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i never said anything about forgiveness
i'm not sure if i'm there yet
but you can understand and not forgive someone
those are two different things
people can do terrible things, and you can still have positive feelings for them with the negative ones
which is probably where i am
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GOOD
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU JO-SAN
I AGREE WITH YOU
I DONT WANT PEOPLE TO REALLY THANK ME
OR SAY SORRY TO ME
EVEN THO I KNOW ITS HAPPENING BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE KIND
I FEEL LIKE I HAVE A LOT TO MAKE UP TO ALL OF YOU
AND IM GONNA TRY REALLY HARD
BUT I THINK ITS OKAY TO NOT LIKE LIARS FOR A WHILE
AND I LIED
I DIDNT WANT TO
BUT I LIED
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people are kind
and that's both a good and a bad thing
forgiveness is like...one of those things people shouldn't take advantage of
and i think it says more that you don't actually want it for something that wasn't entirely your fault
more or less
if it helps i can definitely take back my earlier thanks?
that's kind of a joke by the way
...i'd asked the reapers what happens if you break that rule and the answer's always erasure so
self-preservation isn't always such a bad thing
especially when it's not just about you. it's your team
what do you plan to do next buzen?
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IF I KNEW IT WOULD JUST BE ME
I WOULDVE BROKEN THAT RULE
IF WE DIDN'T VOTE FOR MY TEAM TODAY
I WOULDVE ERASED US ALL MYSELF
I DONT EXPECT ANYONE TO UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL SO STRONGLY
BUT MATSU AND I COULDNT ACCEPT ANYTHING LESS THAN WHAT HAPPENED TODAY
OUR TEAM NEEDED TO BE FOUND GUILTY
I HAVE A LOT TO MAKE UP FOR
I WANT TO HELP EVERYONE IN THE WAYS THAT I CAN
IF THEYRE WILLING TO LET ME
THATS ALL IVE EVER WANT TO DO
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i get it, you are extremely passionate about doing what's right and making amends for what's happened
you're right. people aren't going to understand because people are scared right now
to the point they might be too desperate to survive
but i don't think there's anything wrong with trying to fix things
some people might not let you
some will
so you just have to...start fresh, so to speak
i think i get that
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I UNDERSTAND THAT EVERYONE HAS A LOT OF EMOTIONS TODAY
IM STILL SORTING THROUGH ALL OF MINE TOO
PERSONALLY I JUST WANT TO DO BETTER THAN I HAVE BEEN
BUT I THINK AS A GROUP
WE ALL NEED TO START BEING CAREFUL
KNOWING THAT TEAMS CAN TELL EACH OTHER ON FRIDAY WHAT HAPPENS
AND THAT SOME PEOPLE MIGHT BE FORCED TO KILL EVEN IF THEY DONT WANT TO
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i was curious what the extent of the confession rule was
it's going to be harder for everybody when you have up to three other people who could be an alibi for you
...do you mean people who feel like they have no choice but to kill if they want to earn points for their team?
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BUT ILL LET THEM TALK TO YOU ABOUT IT FIRST
AND IF THEY DONT THEN ILL SAY EVERYTHING I KNOW TOMORROW
BUT YOURE RIGHT TEAMS HAVE A STRONGER INCENTIVE TO COVER FOR EACH OTHER
SO WE WILL NEED MORE CAUTION IN THE COMING WEEKS
[buzen doesn't think anyone will self-destruct quite as badly as bdsm did today,]
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we'll see if the person who acted wants to say anything at all
and then after...only do what you feel like you have to do
things can change overnight
so nobody's going to blame you if you don't commit to something