[ effect or not, the bit of vulnerability is something that gives him pause. he finds himself grateful for it—there's no real reason to open up to anyone outside your team, yet bit by bit these other friendships flower, too. he likes the entirety of tbd. ]
...Yeah. I'm not always done... figuring things out, before Monday.
[ of course they don't have time to linger on the weekend, but it's impossible to set those emotions aside entirely. ]
It's easy to get overwhelmed. Quiet places like this are nice. Not to hide forever—just to gather myself.
[ sometimes...you are very wary of people still and are trying to learn how to integrate yourself back into society, so you start small. you start with people you can relate to and work upward, and maybe that's the only reason jonas doesn't feel like vibrating out of his skin now that he's shared that. ]
And it sucks, right? Like there's really no break between having to watch people get erased on a Sunday and turning around to deal with whatever bullshit happens on Monday. Maybe some people can bounce back really easily, but...it's harder when you're more invested.
[ and it wasn't a secret how many people cared about the guys on bdsm. and even before that, haru...never really got the time to cope from losing rin, did he? ]
Quiet places are kind of a luxury in a city anyway. Even if people might think it's a little morbid to be hanging out in a grave plot. [ he shrugs though. ] Hiding forever's not an option any of us can take either, but I doubt anybody could say anything about needing a few minutes to yourself. Unless they're a huge asshole.
[ sad teen coalition sticks together. and there's always something new to be sad about! this week it's insecurity. ]
I feel bad for people who are better at shrugging it off. They must be used to worse.
[ though he wishes he could do more with this grief than compress it as small as possible and hope it doesn't flare up constantly. losing someone you care for violently is something that most people cope with over the course of years—not a couple days.
but, well, you work with what you have. and that's one sunday, and an empty grave plot. ]
No one here's been a huge asshole to me. Hope it's the same for you. [ has anyone bullied u jonas..... ]
[ let's not talk about insecurities, as if they aren't both just skulking around a graveyard anyway. ]
I don't know if it's so much that they're used to worse. I mean yeah, that's definitely a possibility, but I think it's also that maybe they think they can't take time to focus on it because they have to keep going with stuff.
[ which is usually jonas himself, actually. things happen. bad things, sad things, life experiences that change your whole world. sometimes all you can do is shrug it off because you don't have the luxury of time to really comprehend everything.
here's been different. and maybe it's why he's more supportive of other people taking time to grief and process things, too. this game is unfair to everyone in a lot of ways, but that doesn't mean people should have to be rushed.
the comment makes him laugh, slightly. it's more of a quiet and distant huff as he shakes his head. ]
No. Most people have their own things to worry about and that's important. So it's about trying to support them in the end. If that makes sense. [ also jonas is aware he can be an asshole about several things, but this is different. ]
[ that makes sense. the need to constantly be moving forward, lest the pressure catches up and immobilizes you entirely.
maybe it's avoiding problems by taking on new problems, but he thinks there's a certain strength in it. he'd probably just sink. ]
...I talked to Shenhe. And Fuwa. About how to really help people on other teams. [ because they all do have things going on, and concerns, and people to love and take care of. they all have full lives. ] Still haven't come up with any real solutions.
[ DON'T USE THAT METAPHOR WHEN RIN DIED VIA DROWNING.
it's fine, jonas does not entirely know the lore but he nods. ]
Sure, like that. [ but he seems more interested in the other line of conversation. ] I know the idea is probably that it's every team for themselves, but...we're all still getting to know each other better and be friends across teams. It's normal to want to help each other. But when people are getting hit from all sides, I don't know how we're supposed to stop things for a while.
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...Yeah. I'm not always done... figuring things out, before Monday.
[ of course they don't have time to linger on the weekend, but it's impossible to set those emotions aside entirely. ]
It's easy to get overwhelmed. Quiet places like this are nice. Not to hide forever—just to gather myself.
no subject
And it sucks, right? Like there's really no break between having to watch people get erased on a Sunday and turning around to deal with whatever bullshit happens on Monday. Maybe some people can bounce back really easily, but...it's harder when you're more invested.
[ and it wasn't a secret how many people cared about the guys on bdsm. and even before that, haru...never really got the time to cope from losing rin, did he? ]
Quiet places are kind of a luxury in a city anyway. Even if people might think it's a little morbid to be hanging out in a grave plot. [ he shrugs though. ] Hiding forever's not an option any of us can take either, but I doubt anybody could say anything about needing a few minutes to yourself. Unless they're a huge asshole.
no subject
I feel bad for people who are better at shrugging it off. They must be used to worse.
[ though he wishes he could do more with this grief than compress it as small as possible and hope it doesn't flare up constantly. losing someone you care for violently is something that most people cope with over the course of years—not a couple days.
but, well, you work with what you have. and that's one sunday, and an empty grave plot. ]
No one here's been a huge asshole to me. Hope it's the same for you. [ has anyone bullied u jonas..... ]
no subject
I don't know if it's so much that they're used to worse. I mean yeah, that's definitely a possibility, but I think it's also that maybe they think they can't take time to focus on it because they have to keep going with stuff.
[ which is usually jonas himself, actually. things happen. bad things, sad things, life experiences that change your whole world. sometimes all you can do is shrug it off because you don't have the luxury of time to really comprehend everything.
here's been different. and maybe it's why he's more supportive of other people taking time to grief and process things, too. this game is unfair to everyone in a lot of ways, but that doesn't mean people should have to be rushed.
the comment makes him laugh, slightly. it's more of a quiet and distant huff as he shakes his head. ]
No. Most people have their own things to worry about and that's important. So it's about trying to support them in the end. If that makes sense. [ also jonas is aware he can be an asshole about several things, but this is different. ]
no subject
[ that makes sense. the need to constantly be moving forward, lest the pressure catches up and immobilizes you entirely.
maybe it's avoiding problems by taking on new problems, but he thinks there's a certain strength in it. he'd probably just sink. ]
...I talked to Shenhe. And Fuwa. About how to really help people on other teams. [ because they all do have things going on, and concerns, and people to love and take care of. they all have full lives. ] Still haven't come up with any real solutions.
no subject
it's fine, jonas does not entirely know the lore but he nods. ]
Sure, like that. [ but he seems more interested in the other line of conversation. ] I know the idea is probably that it's every team for themselves, but...we're all still getting to know each other better and be friends across teams. It's normal to want to help each other. But when people are getting hit from all sides, I don't know how we're supposed to stop things for a while.