[ oh—there's a new little droplet of sadness in the vast lake of sadness already there, shaped like sympathy. saying goodbye is hard. expecting to have more time and then suddenly having it ripped away is like losing the ground you're standing on is just as bad. ]
There is no closure.
[ he didn't find it when count d died, and there certainly wasn't any in the mess today. he does not think this will get easier. ]
But I... don't know. [ ... ] Matsui and Buzen talked about—after Rin died. They said they wouldn't want to win like that. Living and knowing what it'd cost. [ child murder trauma ] But we're still here.
[ living, at what cost? ]
And there's still... a long way to go. [ it's week two, ]
I did say for some people. [ which is to say jonas can see that being the reason, but it's not his own. he has his own reasons for the way things are, but he's trying his best not to question or judge too much of other people. ]
Matsui told me he and Buzen had no intention of trying to win if it meant taking the opportunity from a human life. And it just feels like...someone took that to mean they didn't care about being here, and that it wouldn't matter to get rid of them early. That's the part that isn't fair about it. And because of someone's stupid choice, we're all paying the price.
[ all the more reason to be frustrated. ]
...I can't say I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Especially the more we all get to know each other in the first place.
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no subject
There is no closure.
[ he didn't find it when count d died, and there certainly wasn't any in the mess today. he does not think this will get easier. ]
But I... don't know. [ ... ] Matsui and Buzen talked about—after Rin died. They said they wouldn't want to win like that. Living and knowing what it'd cost. [ child murder trauma ] But we're still here.
[ living, at what cost? ]
And there's still... a long way to go. [ it's week two, ]
no subject
Matsui told me he and Buzen had no intention of trying to win if it meant taking the opportunity from a human life. And it just feels like...someone took that to mean they didn't care about being here, and that it wouldn't matter to get rid of them early. That's the part that isn't fair about it. And because of someone's stupid choice, we're all paying the price.
[ all the more reason to be frustrated. ]
...I can't say I'm looking forward to the next couple of weeks. Especially the more we all get to know each other in the first place.