Yeah. In the end, there's no right decision. And everyone has a right to their feelings.
[ livio smiles that wry, sad smile again ]
I had a feeling. He's... always been like that. [ Nico... ] If you have any questions, Jonas, I can answer them. I didn't..... I didn't actually know, myself, until Monday night.
As long as we can remember that...maybe things won't have to be as horrible. [ like they will be because people get real big mad about people dying but you know. ]
I figured. I wasn't lying about what I said in the trial. One of the first times I spoke to him was because he was trying to make sure you'd be okay and be on a team that would work to keep you safe. Really talked you up. And even Tuesday...he was so worried about you and what we'd think of you.
We're almost to the end. We just have to get through this.
[ he is quiet for a bit, heart clenching. none of this comes as a surprise to him, because wolfwood has always been like that. and livio knew he was going around trying to make sure he'd be okay ]
[ Nico.... why.... ]
Before I tell you that, I should... probably explain a few things in the first place. What did Nicholas actually tell you about me?
[ now that i'm home and can pull stuff up easier, jonas is busy thinking this through. ]
...he told me you guys were at the same orphanage. Which I assume is how you met. And that you both left after a while. Said you were both raised to be killers. [ ... ] And he mentioned that a part that's latched onto you probably made by Chapel is what killed Wolfwood, and what killed Setsu. That it took control and made that decision for you, but that you yourself weren't actually a danger.
Seemed to think it was his fault things happened the way they did for you.
... He's not wrong about the rest of it. We met at the same orphanage--- we both ended up leaving, and being taken in by the Eye of Michael. And Ma-- Chapel.... raised us both separately, to be assassins. [ though livio still would not wish no man's land on anyone, it does make the explanations easier, since jonas would be familiar with some of this ]
The best way I can explain this, is.... you know how Ylfa has a wolf inside of her? I do, too. Chapel.... also.... was very involved in that. His name is Razlo. He only comes out when my life is danger. After.... After Nicholas sacrificed himself to save me, I thought he was gone for good. I ended up leaving the Eye of Michael, and joining Vash to help him try to save our world. [ otherwise he would have warned people, if he thought razlo was still here ]
Razlo thought my life was in danger, and he also thought Setsu was going to come after us, because... in that special mission, they were in the Eye of Michael, and they..... you know, when weird things happen to you after the mission? [ the status effects ] They were.... basically acting like I did, before Nicholas saved me. And we are the number one enemy of the Eye of Michael now, being traitors. Razlo got scared.
I didn't know about any of it until Monday night, when Vash and Nicholas knocked some sense into him and me. That's how I found out.
[ Not that any of that is an excuse, but... at trial he truly had no idea. ]
[ he listens to this, keeping all of his thoughts walled off and letting livio explain everything. this matches up to some of what wolfwood already told him, so he's not entirely surprised.
the others on that mission had vaguely spoken about the eye of michael, enough that he has a general idea of who they were. but even as livio explains he finds himself frowning deeper and deeper the longer he talks.
even at the end of it, he doesn't say anything right away. ]
Okay. [ it's. pretty much all he can say to all of that. he doesn't have anything new to say that he hadn't already told wolfwood, and the thing about it is that livio saying all of this doesn't change much either. he'd already agreed they wouldn't do anything about it. he'd already agreed he would try to talk to his teammates to keep things neutral. that should be enough, shouldn't it? ] Then you get exactly why I wasn't going to excuse you as being a potential suspect until we cleared everything, don't you?
[ wolfwood never told livio he spoke to tbd. this is his first time hearing about it. so he doesn't know what was agreed upon, what was said. he frankly was a little surprised tbd didn't come after him. but since jonas wanted answers, he's giving them ]
Yes, I do get it. [ which is exactly why he was cooperative the whole time and didn't get upset even if i, sipp, roasted you lovingly for livio and wolfette ]
... Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset at you for that, or for your team killing Simon. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I know I don't deserve it. I told Setsu I'd be ready for whatever judgment they had for me at the end of this, and that goes for you all, too.
[ Even if I don't have that right... I care about all of you. ]
[ he probably wouldn't have mentioned it if wolfwood wasn't gone now, but here they are. ]
Then I can appreciate your cooperation. Thank you for that. [ he's not particularly apologetic about it because he had reasons, but he also doesn't feel like being an ass about it either. ] What makes you think our team killed Simon?
[ he hears livio say "i'm not asking for forgiveness", and there's like a weird squiggle of disjointed thoughts that eventually go quiet. ]
Whatever you and Setsu agreed on is between you guys, I think.
Fair enough. [ which is all he says about it because whatever setsu said is setsu's business. he won't defend that. instead...he hums in thought. ]
I can't promise anything. But it's not like we were ever planning to retaliate. Or bring it up ourselves. It only became relevant today to ensure Razlo didn't make another reappearance. That's all.
[ but it doesn't mean the team won't still have a lot of upset and complicated feelings. he's not going to tell them not to feel certain things, but he can at least try to keep peace well enough to get to the end of this game. ]
...all we can do is keep moving forward and try to make sure everybody gets to the same end goal. We can agree on that, can't we?
I didn't ask you to promise anything, Jonas. I'm not asking for anything.
[ he says that gently, hoping that this time, it will stick ]
[ If anything.... I wonder if there's anything I can even do to make things better for them. Aside from kill myself or let someone else not on Froggystyle kill me... ]
Of course. I'm still planning to do everything in my power to save as many people as I can. I think we can all agree on that.
I know. I'm just...[ he frowns, trying to think of how to explain. ] I don't know. I'll do what I can to at least try and keep things neutral for everybody. But I can't tell them not to be upset. [ a pause. ] And for what it's worth I don't think killing yourself is going to help either. So...get off that trail.
As long as everybody remembers why we're here and what we're trying to do, I think we can get through the next week. Everything after that, well, whatever. But it's stupid to trip at the finish line.
[ everyone can have hurt feelings and can choose not to engage with people, as long as it's not a detriment to the goal. that's the whole point, he thinks. ]
Of course. And... I mean, I... I've been tryin' to give ya all space, but if ya think it would be better for me to try to talk to them, too, I can try. Don't mind being punched or anything, either, but, uh.... [ That might not help, because you guys might hurt your hands.... ]
[ but honestly, he doesn't want to put the burden of keeping the peace on jonas, either. he just doesn't know if there's anything he can do to ease their pain or give them any kind of closure, since, well... he caused this ]
I didn't think so, either, but someone did want me to let their team kill them. [ And it wasn't Froggystyle... ]
[ he is nodding to that ]
That won't be a problem on my end. And if there's anything I can do to make it smoother.... really, the least I can do.
No, don't. [ he seems resigned by that. ] Let me...get the vibe first, I'm not sure talking would go well for anybody unless they approached you first. I can handle them probably better than any of you can handle each other at the moment. Or...I don't know. Ask if they're receptive. And if not, leave it. Give them a choice.
[ he doesn't want to have to keep peace, but he is. well-aware of how things would go and he wants to cause the least amount of problems right now. ]
...seems like there's been a lot of influence going around. At least nobody listened to that one.[ even if he figures that would just go a certain way anyway. ]
If I think of anything I'll let you know. The most we can do is just...focus on the goal. The rest should sort itself out.
Edited (i had forgotten my own thought.) 2023-08-01 06:16 (UTC)
[ livio nods. that is essentially what he thought, that he should leave them be to avoid making anything worse ]
... I thought it'd be best to give you all space, unless you approached first. [ like jonas did today! ]
[ Maybe I could try texting Kazuki and Alex... just asking if they want to talk. ]
That's what I plan to do. [ focus on the goal. help froggies win this so they can save everyone ] Contact me anytime if there's anything I can do. I'm... basically okay with anything that isn't outright getting murdered. [ this is like, half a joke, but only half ]
...it's complicated. Come on too strong, they'll revolt. Ignore them entirely, they'll be mad. [ it's all about checks and balances and jonas is doing his best to keep everything balanced. normally he tries not to address thoughts, but... ]
You could try texting. If they don't want to, they'll just leave you on read. And then everybody will know and have the option. [ there's a wry smile. ] I think after this all of us are going to be done murdering each other as an option. The best we can do is keep our eyes open and ears to the ground for anything that might change soon. Keep everybody informed as best as we can.
[ everyone, screaming: DON'T TELL THE REAPERS SHIT. ]
Don't thank me unless it actually works out, man. [ all of it, he means. ] I think by now everybody's gotten the memo not to share with the Reapers, and if they haven't, then...we just remind them. Easy.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ livio smiles that wry, sad smile again ]
I had a feeling. He's... always been like that. [ Nico... ] If you have any questions, Jonas, I can answer them. I didn't..... I didn't actually know, myself, until Monday night.
[ It probably doesn't make sense to him.... ]
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I figured. I wasn't lying about what I said in the trial. One of the first times I spoke to him was because he was trying to make sure you'd be okay and be on a team that would work to keep you safe. Really talked you up. And even Tuesday...he was so worried about you and what we'd think of you.
[ it doesn't make sense to him, really. ]
...how did you find out?
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[ he is quiet for a bit, heart clenching. none of this comes as a surprise to him, because wolfwood has always been like that. and livio knew he was going around trying to make sure he'd be okay ]
[ Nico.... why.... ]
Before I tell you that, I should... probably explain a few things in the first place. What did Nicholas actually tell you about me?
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...he told me you guys were at the same orphanage. Which I assume is how you met. And that you both left after a while. Said you were both raised to be killers. [ ... ] And he mentioned that a part that's latched onto you probably made by Chapel is what killed Wolfwood, and what killed Setsu. That it took control and made that decision for you, but that you yourself weren't actually a danger.
Seemed to think it was his fault things happened the way they did for you.
1/2
[ wow, disrespecting the double dead ]
[ but no, it comes from a place of frustration and love. He's always blaming himself for everything.... ]
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The best way I can explain this, is.... you know how Ylfa has a wolf inside of her? I do, too. Chapel.... also.... was very involved in that. His name is Razlo. He only comes out when my life is danger. After.... After Nicholas sacrificed himself to save me, I thought he was gone for good. I ended up leaving the Eye of Michael, and joining Vash to help him try to save our world. [ otherwise he would have warned people, if he thought razlo was still here ]
Razlo thought my life was in danger, and he also thought Setsu was going to come after us, because... in that special mission, they were in the Eye of Michael, and they..... you know, when weird things happen to you after the mission? [ the status effects ] They were.... basically acting like I did, before Nicholas saved me. And we are the number one enemy of the Eye of Michael now, being traitors. Razlo got scared.
I didn't know about any of it until Monday night, when Vash and Nicholas knocked some sense into him and me. That's how I found out.
[ Not that any of that is an excuse, but... at trial he truly had no idea. ]
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the others on that mission had vaguely spoken about the eye of michael, enough that he has a general idea of who they were. but even as livio explains he finds himself frowning deeper and deeper the longer he talks.
even at the end of it, he doesn't say anything right away. ]
Okay. [ it's. pretty much all he can say to all of that. he doesn't have anything new to say that he hadn't already told wolfwood, and the thing about it is that livio saying all of this doesn't change much either. he'd already agreed they wouldn't do anything about it. he'd already agreed he would try to talk to his teammates to keep things neutral. that should be enough, shouldn't it? ] Then you get exactly why I wasn't going to excuse you as being a potential suspect until we cleared everything, don't you?
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Yes, I do get it. [ which is exactly why he was cooperative the whole time and didn't get upset even if i, sipp, roasted you lovingly for livio and wolfette ]
... Don't get me wrong, I'm not upset at you for that, or for your team killing Simon. I'm not asking for forgiveness, I know I don't deserve it. I told Setsu I'd be ready for whatever judgment they had for me at the end of this, and that goes for you all, too.
[ Even if I don't have that right... I care about all of you. ]
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Then I can appreciate your cooperation. Thank you for that. [ he's not particularly apologetic about it because he had reasons, but he also doesn't feel like being an ass about it either. ] What makes you think our team killed Simon?
[ he hears livio say "i'm not asking for forgiveness", and there's like a weird squiggle of disjointed thoughts that eventually go quiet. ]
Whatever you and Setsu agreed on is between you guys, I think.
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... I had my theories, and Setsu mentioned something to me about it.
[ tilting his head at the thoughts, but livio firmly believes he nor razlo deserve forgiveness ]
You three have a right to that as well, I think. I took Setsu away from you. I don't plan to run away from that.
... And I don't want to cause any of you more pain than I already have.
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I can't promise anything. But it's not like we were ever planning to retaliate. Or bring it up ourselves. It only became relevant today to ensure Razlo didn't make another reappearance. That's all.
[ but it doesn't mean the team won't still have a lot of upset and complicated feelings. he's not going to tell them not to feel certain things, but he can at least try to keep peace well enough to get to the end of this game. ]
...all we can do is keep moving forward and try to make sure everybody gets to the same end goal. We can agree on that, can't we?
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[ he says that gently, hoping that this time, it will stick ]
[ If anything.... I wonder if there's anything I can even do to make things better for them. Aside from kill myself or let someone else not on Froggystyle kill me... ]
Of course. I'm still planning to do everything in my power to save as many people as I can. I think we can all agree on that.
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As long as everybody remembers why we're here and what we're trying to do, I think we can get through the next week. Everything after that, well, whatever. But it's stupid to trip at the finish line.
[ everyone can have hurt feelings and can choose not to engage with people, as long as it's not a detriment to the goal. that's the whole point, he thinks. ]
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[ but honestly, he doesn't want to put the burden of keeping the peace on jonas, either. he just doesn't know if there's anything he can do to ease their pain or give them any kind of closure, since, well... he caused this ]
I didn't think so, either, but someone did want me to let their team kill them. [ And it wasn't Froggystyle... ]
[ he is nodding to that ]
That won't be a problem on my end. And if there's anything I can do to make it smoother.... really, the least I can do.
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[ he doesn't want to have to keep peace, but he is. well-aware of how things would go and he wants to cause the least amount of problems right now. ]
...seems like there's been a lot of influence going around. At least nobody listened to that one.[ even if he figures that would just go a certain way anyway. ]
If I think of anything I'll let you know. The most we can do is just...focus on the goal. The rest should sort itself out.
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... I thought it'd be best to give you all space, unless you approached first. [ like jonas did today! ]
[ Maybe I could try texting Kazuki and Alex... just asking if they want to talk. ]
That's what I plan to do. [ focus on the goal. help froggies win this so they can save everyone ] Contact me anytime if there's anything I can do. I'm... basically okay with anything that isn't outright getting murdered. [ this is like, half a joke, but only half ]
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...it's complicated. Come on too strong, they'll revolt. Ignore them entirely, they'll be mad. [ it's all about checks and balances and jonas is doing his best to keep everything balanced. normally he tries not to address thoughts, but... ]
You could try texting. If they don't want to, they'll just leave you on read. And then everybody will know and have the option. [ there's a wry smile. ] I think after this all of us are going to be done murdering each other as an option. The best we can do is keep our eyes open and ears to the ground for anything that might change soon. Keep everybody informed as best as we can.
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[ texto..... ]
[ I just hope the points will be enough..... ] Yeah, sounds good. As long as we aren't sharing in public, or with the Reapers.
[ so many warnings have come out even by week 6 saturday.. help ]
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Don't thank me unless it actually works out, man. [ all of it, he means. ] I think by now everybody's gotten the memo not to share with the Reapers, and if they haven't, then...we just remind them. Easy.
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I think we're covered on that front.
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[ i think we can wrap here ]